I haven’t had much to say lately. We moved house (in fact, I still need to go back to the old place and clean) .. my name became legal, and it seems to have lent an air of authenticity to my transition .. I guess I can talk about that for a bit.
When the judge pronounced, “The person formerly known as Xxxxx Xxxxxxx Xxxxx is now Debborah Xxxxxxx Xxxxx”, I felt a rush of emotions. One was sadness, for beside me sat my wife, putting herself out there, being a witness for my name change court hearing. She had once said that when I ceased to be legally “Dave”, that Dave would be dead .. so I was sad for her. I knew that this signaled a new phase, where she would have to mourn her loss, and I hate for her to be in pain.
Another thing I felt is the weird rush of power a little government authority can give a person by endorsing her as a female. Part of the name change process in MN allows for the person getting the name change to change her legal sex, too, and to have the court issue an order for a birth certificate modification.
The rush of power was .. interesting. I know that I am a woman, and have known for some time .. but now I have the force of law behind me, and although it really should be just another thing checked off my list, it was a turning point for me, too. I’ve been going more openly at work as Debb .. my team-mates all call me that (except for a certain ex-pro football player, who gets a pass since he’s old); others around the organization use that name, too.
I look feminine enough that for some time, the cashier at the cafeteria refers to me as “she” .. and now, I have the payment card to “prove” it, having been replaced about a week ago.
I am disappointed that my own birth family just can’t get their heads wrapped around this. My name change became official on July 27th, as seen below; soon after that, I went to the funeral of an aunt (my dad’s sister) — I’d been requested to dress as “male” as possible, and in deference to it being my aunt’s day (and my dad’s day to mourn), I followed that wish .. but I did get a few comments. After the burial and the commensurate late lunch at a restaurant, I handed out short letters to my other aunts & uncles and cousins explaining that I had recently changed my name, and why. I asked them to only read it the next day, as this was Dorothy’s day .. but a few of them read it when they got to their cars.
I heard back from two of them .. and wouldn’t ya know it, one was from my first cousin Sandy, who had “fallen out of the fold” as far as Christianity was concerned, and her daughter, my second cousin Deb. They both responded with loving kindness.
Sadly, none of the other, more Christian of my relatives got back to me at all. Quite the commentary on how some folks’ beliefs hold them back from expressing love for fear of seeming to endorse this “lifestyle” I’ve “chosen”. I’m glad that there are indeed Christian people out there who do seem able to understand; I just wish that more of them could be from my birth family.
Other than that .. hmm .. I guess there’s not much to say. Again, I cannot overstate the weird feeling I got being addressed by an officer of the court as Debb; it’s terribly ironic what a boost that gave me.